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Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

This Extremely Urgent Missive, Which Completely Justifies The Importance Of The Internet Itself, Was Brought To You By The Number 12 And The Letter B.


You know what, you can do a lot with bags.

You can put things in bags, and when it rains, you can put a bag over your head to keep your hairdo from getting wet.

If you have paper bags, you can cut them up and make a wide assortment of craft projects, from masks to Christmas cards to armbands. If the paper bag is small, you can make a puppet and put on a show for your co-workers.

Plastic bags can be tied to your feet and worn as stylish rain boots. Plastic bags can also be placed over your bicycle seat to keep it dry. Plastic bags are also popular tree ornaments in most major metropolitan areas.

In some cultures, people trade bags as a form of currency, though in most of these cultures, you can be arrested or even killed if you try to substitute a sack for a bag. It's important to know the difference, but I can't get into that right now.

Bags are perhaps the most versatile objects in the world, other than water and performance fleece. I didn't mention that you can take a large paper bag, cut two holes in it, and wear it to conceal your identity. You can do that.

Really, there are many things you can do with bags. I think sometimes it's not fair that I don't have the time to come up with new uses for bags. But who could ever have that kind of time? It's like that thing where they put the monkeys in the room with the typewriters and eventually one of them writes King Lear. Only this time, it's bags and not typewriters. It just boggles the imagination.

Thank you. That is all.


Blogger Franklin said...

Now I know what to get you for your birthday.

1:41 PM, January 05, 2006  
Blogger superspaceboy said...

They are great for litter box treasures. For some reason cats like to lick em. And babies love to play in them...the darned things.

11:14 AM, January 20, 2006  

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